He graduated in 1981, and while he could have become a cardinal minister with his background, he focused on the inside of the Church. Ignacio where he skipped two grades and acted as the student council president. He attended the Theological College of Manresa St. He wished to know the crime of his existence, the simple, pure question of "why?" and held a feeling of anger towards something unknown behind his reward of years of anguish and blind devotion not being salvation. Those with a deficiency should not be born, yet there are beings that exist to be hated and die. He wondered about the nature of his existence, that if the world hates evil, what was the purpose of something that was never wanted being given life. He was only concerned about the "why?" behind himself as he matured. There was nothing lost, so there was nothing to grieve. There was no anguish at this realization because had always sought after something that never existed. He could not find greater pleasure than the pain of others, and while the Church's teachings forbid immorality, immorality was all he had at the time.
It is said that God forgives everything, so He should also save someone "who is not born with it." The result for him was tragic, as he abode by the rules of God, followed the law, and lived modestly with no results. The path that became his creed was to become a priest and preach like his father. He turned to religion with fervor to turn himself into a normal person, believing that God may eventually bring him salvation. Unable to reach an epiphany, he arrived at the single conclusion that he did not have the sense to feel normal happiness. After ten years of such things, all of his purgatories and sufferings were useless to change him. Rather than surrendering himself to his condition by indulging in twisted pleasure, he tried looking within his own body for what could not be found in his mind, attempted to use mental pain, which is more significant than physical pain for missionaries, and attempted to abstain from eating during their pious acts. Following that he, as a sinner by nature, should punish himself following the morals in which he believed to keep balance in the world, he tried methods like shaving away the skin, ripping off flesh, and dislocating bones. He suffered agony, though he never knew if it truly was agony, trying to pursue something he lacked from the start. All throughout his teenage years, he did everything he could to overcome his defect after accepting its existence.
Understanding that he was not in accordance with the world, he worked hard to correct this mistake, attempting to be pure and beautiful. He simply woke up, raised his head, and knew at that moment that, while his father wished for him to be beautiful, he had always questioned why he had never thought the same of which that Risei had thought was beautiful.
The problem was an intrinsic one, that he did not understand his father's notion of "beauty." He finally realized the inconsistency one morning, and wondered why it took him so long to figure it out. It was unrelated to having to meet expectations, and he grew up healthy. While he understood that he was living up to his father's expectations, he did not love his father. He worked diligently as an Executor-in-training from an early age, and he was once chosen as an Executor around the age of ten. He has been actively involved with the Church since his youth, and he often accompanied his father to the holy grounds. He grew up according to Risei's expectations, showing morals and good sense from a young age, and was insightful enough to seem precocious to others. Kirei is a word of prayer, so Risei named him such so that he would be pure and beautiful. Kirei Kotomine was born Decem as the son of Risei Kotomine, who was gifted with Kirei on a pilgrimage.
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